It’s dark, I wake up from duty, but I hate it, I really hate it ….. I take a quick bath and fast breakfast too- I can’t believe I’ve put all the money in that business-, I leave the house, I can’t see the clouds, it’s cold, and it bothers me not to get up to do something that I like. I walk towards the avenue and I see the desolate park, the basketball court alone and the closed church, there are no absolution beggars, only coins and at this time they are asleep because the owners of the coins are also in bed. I arrive at the avenue and I see a very well lit sign of an advertisement, a young man with a smile from side to side driving a convertible classic and a bottle of rum with the name of the place where the peace dialogues are being carried, a strange irony.
I wait for the bus next to the sign, it is incredible that at that time the buses pass full of people, I always thought that at that time the thing was quieter, but no. You see the need to work, of people to produce: all are wrapped in ruanas and scarves. It is notorious that they have been doing this for a while; a hungry son does not wait. I am on the bus and there is no space, just as it is for everyone, I see the faces of people, tanned and burned, they are lived people: who knows what their story is? You can tell that most of their events are the suffered and few lived, it is strange that most people suffer, I suffer because I had invested badly and now I hate what I do, I have to do it for a simple matter of duty and because I have no other chance.
Time flies when the thoughts are deep, I arrive at the bus stop in downtown and get off, it starts to be clear and I see one of my little pleasures: a cloud of birds flying over the waters. I stay a few moments seeing them; they are like small planes, since I see badly! I had a surgery on my eyes years ago and now the thing was the same as before visco! They are black birds and they fly in synchrony, in unison, it is incredible that nature can see in the instinct the strength of numbers. In Bogotá I feel very far from my fellow human beings, it seems that each one fights on his side, without getting too involved in the life of the other. I continue walking and I look at the caged river, a river that has no life and now drags empty and dirty food packages, water that gives life and is caged, a toad could give that inert cause a bit of green. I can imagine the river at other times, passing under the bridge they discovered next door, hiding lovers or malefactors, depending on the time of day. My imagination does fly, I let it fly very high when I put all my money in this business.
I thought that the other’s dream could be my dream too. I know that it happens to others and they are doing very well, not me. I trusted as a child and did not use my knowledge to see if the thing worked, I was carried away by the “verbosity” of the person who presented the business. Initially we were three: the one who invented it, the administrator and the person with the money (me). I dig inside my head and it is getting late, I had read before about the sensation of walking with weights in the shoes and so far I feel them, it really weights like a demon… I’m coming to the restaurant and I see that I´m not alone: the beggar of the place is awake, yes, looking for forgiveness you don’t have to get up early, but for the belly there’s no wait. What a funny world, surely he envies me and I him, he has no responsibilities and I have food and shelter — how ungrateful we are with what we have. I look at the entrance of the place and its green door seems painted with gall. Just open it and enter. Although I hate what I do, there are people who enjoy what I offer. For now, that is enough and a surplus: the smile and the thanks of the stomach. After all, true love starts from the stomach, right?
MAED
MAED 